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Travis94

Funniest pitch memories?

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Hi all, I just want to know about everyone's funny memories on the pitch. Since I started this post, I shall share mine.

 

Allow me to set the scene: It was a warm, sunny day--about 3 in the afternoon. The team and I was warming up for a friendly against a nearby school.

 

A few strikers were practicing there freekicks--not down the field, rather into the grandstands. Now, behind the grandstands is a small irrigation stream for a dairy pasture which is behind the field. A player who could never kick a ball well to save his life decided to try and impress some of the more talented players. He placed the ball and took it like a freekick; he got so much air that he lifted it up and over the grandstands and it dropped into the stream and went rushing downstream. Our pitch is equipped with high fences to prevent this kind of mishap. Very ironic since we have those high fences. (;

 

Now that I went, what is your guys' funny memories?

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Last game of the season, bread and butter free kick straight at me!

 

Saved it (or so I thought), ran out of trouble with the ball only to find the other team celebrating!

 

Straight through the hands and into the back of the net! All I could do was look at my hands and then endure the ridicule of the rest of the team! Luckily promotion had come a couple of weeks earlier!

 

Now as I walk into training or a match the rest of the lads just look at their hands and shake their heads!!

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I was playing up for a team and The ref gave a layer a red card so he sends the player off. hen he gives the keeper a red card for dissent. The first carded player comes running back onto the field with no shirt on and starts punching the ref. The whole other team crowds around the ref so he was trapped. Our whole team tried to help the ref out and clear players. Kinda a big bench brawl. Now the player can't play youth soccer for the rest of his life lol

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I was playing up for a team and The ref gave a layer a red card so he sends the player off. hen he gives the keeper a red card for dissent. The first carded player comes running back onto the field with no shirt on and starts punching the ref. The whole other team crowds around the ref so he was trapped. Our whole team tried to help the ref out and clear players. Kinda a big bench brawl. Now the player can't play youth soccer for the rest of his life lol

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I was playing up for a team and The ref gave a layer a red card so he sends the player off. hen he gives the keeper a red card for dissent. The first carded player comes running back onto the field with no shirt on and starts punching the ref. The whole other team crowds around the ref so he was trapped. Our whole team tried to help the ref out and clear players. Kinda a big bench brawl. Now the player can't play youth soccer for the rest of his life lol

Oh my. A bench brawl. I have never been a part of one of those, thankfully, but wow. That sounds like that memory will be sticking with you for a good while.

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Last game of the season, bread and butter free kick straight at me!

 

Saved it (or so I thought), ran out of trouble with the ball only to find the other team celebrating!

 

Straight through the hands and into the back of the net! All I could do was look at my hands and then endure the ridicule of the rest of the team! Luckily promotion had come a couple of weeks earlier!

 

Now as I walk into training or a match the rest of the lads just look at their hands and shake their heads!!

 

Ah, I have had one of those mishaps before. Never fun and hard to live down--especially what you get from your mates!

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I don't know if this was a mistake or not, but anyway it's the last game of a cut-short season. A cup final in a sub-zero temperatures, Sunday afternoon with a pitch next to a chicken farm (a loud one at that, I think they wanted their lunch, and they were allowed to roam free, nothing stopping them from entering the pitch really, they're such agile little creatures.

 

Now I know you're expecting a chicken story, but no such luck, lol.

 

Our team fielded only 7 players, 3-2-1 formation, haha. Anyway their players are running at me full speed on the counter attack, literally nobody in their way, everyone ran up into the box. When there was one man running into the box and I came out to him with both legs, and he dived and kneed me right in the face, almost knocked me unconscious, but got a penalty in the making of that, very irritating, they were all playing dirty, if we had 11 men we'd have been creaming them.

 

Anyway, the player smashes it into the bottom corner and I somehow got to it, it went off my glove, onto the bar, as I looked up it came back and hit me in the face and rolled into the net, I was still stirring from the knee to the face, but it can only be described as an own goal. I've never seen any of my team or theirs since that match. Thank god lol.

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I conceded a goal, then my team was taking centre, so I decided to kick it back up to them, like a practise goal kick, and I smacked the ref in the temple.

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I got two that stick in my head

 

I was 15 and found stupid things funny lol my left back who was number 6 was jostling with a striker who was 9. So 69 was showing and and everyone started laughing

 

My second game back in 11 a side this season i was playing with the seniors. It was 1-1 with only a couple of minutes left. someone had a shot from 18 yards out it was a very crowded box. i dived to the right but one of my defenders tried to clear it but he barely clipped it and it hit my head then hit the post then hit my head again and stayed out! We managed to clear the ball and scored from the resulting counter attack and won 2-1

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Hahaha, "69" sounds exactly like something I'd laugh at :P

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Funny at the time, funny looking back, but the middle part was not funny when the police got involved and had to go up to the fa to answer a charge of assualt on a match official!

 

Was playing in a 5 a side league (i was out on pitch) it was about 3 weeks before it ended and we were 3rd playing second, it was a heated game and very close. The ref gave a free kick against me and i was not happy, out of frustration i booted the ball away, you know when you toe punt it, it just flies! so the ball flew............SMACK! hit the ref straight in the face! he stumbled a bit, everyone was laughing there head off. The ref was about 16-18 yards away. so everyones laughing and i went over to him and apologised, he took my name and showed me a red card. andway we finished the match, then had a drink in the bar and had a laugh, the players pointed out that my shooting had never been any good but i managed to hit the ref.

 

Ah i must point out that the ref was looking away when the ball hit him, side of the face. he only knew it was me as i went over to him.

 

Anyway i get a phone call the next day from the 5 a side league, the woman said she was phoning about 'last nights incident' i said ah ok. she said do you think its acceptable? i said of course not. So she started going on that we were a dirty team and had been suspended from the league and they had put a complaint into the FA and got the police involved.

 

So i said its a bit extreme isnt it? she than started swearing and telling me we were evil little bastards and should be banned for life.

 

I was a bit lost here. Anyway, turned out the ref had told the organisers that he had been assualted, had been punched when trying to leave the field of play after the game, was followed home and in fear of his life.

 

I spoke to all th eplayers and none of them knew what was going on, anyway as we were walking off the pitch someone who was watching asked the ref how come i had been sent off for hitting him with a ball, when he never saw me kick it but an earlier incident had seen a punch thrown (and missed) and the ref did nothing. as the ref ignored him it angered the spectator more and they got in there care and left the car park at the same time, as he drove past him, he flashed his lights and gave him the 'wanker' sign out the window.

 

However we got blamed for this.

 

so we had to go up to london for this meeting, it was 3 charges, assualt on a match official, bringing the game into disripute and a team one as well. so as we sat there the ref came in and sat down next to us in the wating area not realising who we were. he started chatting and something he said about why was we there, we informed him that we were there because of him. he stop talking, got up and walked to another aera.

 

when we was in the meeting, there was a panel of three people who had rate statements, they then asked myself and the ref for our versions. the ref said he gave a free kick against me and he saw me kick the ball at his face with intent with anger, from 4-6 yards away. i said no it was 16-18. so they asked if we had any witnesses, i said yest and brought one in, they were asked what happened. they said the same as me, then another witness, the same as me.

 

The ref then tried saying something and fair play to the panel, they told him he'd had his chance to talk. in the end the charge of assualt on a match official was given us 'unproven' which did carry a life ban or 5 or 1 year bans. they did me for the red card though and banned me for a month from all football and charged me £37

 

I was then asked to leave so i dont know what got said to the ref after.

 

So the middle bit was not so funny, at the time. but to strike a ball so sweet at the time was funny. never hit a ball so good since lol

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What a story!

 

You've just captivated me for ages, it just reminds you how screwy football can be if spiteful if the wrong people can get involved!

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I'm so glad I'm able to share this moment hahaha!...

 

I was chosen to play for my primary school team when i was in year 5 which was good because everyone else was year 6's and no one younger had ever been picked to play before, only me.ot bad weather all afternoon yet the pitch was still quite soft.

Anyway, we had a good season and i think this was the last game of the season against a local side, not quite a derby but almost. Anyway the weather had been nice all day until half time.

 

We were level going into the break and as it was the last game we decided to let everyone have a position shuffle, so i went upfront, but as a normal headcase keeper i ran anywhere and everywhere like a headless chicken!

 

The 2nd half started and it was pouring with rain, i had been running my socks off trying to chase the ball but blazed a few open goals wide and being a keeper i just generally hadn't got a scooby! It was getting close to full time when i was coming closer, i then played a one two with my team mate and he put a through ball through for me and i chipped the ball over the keeper.

 

Now my celebration was just rolling and jumping around in the mud like a nutter and i decided to take my top off and wave it around, being drenched and caked in mud it took me about 10 minutes to get the top back on and when it was on it was inside out and back to front! I then received a yellow for the top incident but they kicked off early as i was in my own half and they ran through and scored.

 

I was gutted as i thought i got the winner but my stupid celebration only got us a draw but it was absolutely hilarious trying to see me get this shirt on!!! haha

 

Joe

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Now I know you're expecting a chicken story, but no such Cluck, lol.

 

 

Fixed ;D

 

Don't worry mate, you're the only cock on here :)

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Fixed ;D

 

Don't worry mate, you're the only cock on here :)

 

Oh, wonderful, bet you went through them to find that ;)

 

Do you want me to step on you? You're so short I think the only worry would be that I'd trip over you :)

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Got quite a few story's to share.

It was half time and at this point I was a mifielder and not a goalkeeper I was also captain but I wasn't setting a very good example here. We were getting beaten by quite possibly the worst team I've ever played I had opened there defence up like an automatic door about 10 times but farking strikers let me down. So when the half time whistle went I took out my furstration and booted the ball away, it hit there captain right in the side of the face, not to mention it was a cold day so ouch! Now this captain was about 6 foot and had a beard at the age of 14-15, fair to say I was bricking it. So when the half started I thought I'll just have to get in rough before he does. How I went a whole half without notciing he was a big woman is beyond me. I sent him off injured and crying and got a yellow card for my troubles! These days the tackle would of been a red because I was air-born hahahaha!

 

The dreaded Edinburgh derby. I was a 7 aside keeper for Hearts, thats right Hearts. I'm an avid Hibs fan so I found it very difficult to try and play for the team in these games. This is probably the worst game I've ever played in goals as I made 3 blunders in 20 minutes which put them 4-1 up. I was taken off half way through the 2nd period (7 aside is split into 3rds 20 mins each) as we were 5-1 down. Everybody thought I was letting them in due to being a Hibee. When I was taken off my coach went 'What happened there? Usually you'd have saved ther amjority of those and it would be 1-1, that was shocking!' My only reply was 'To be fair, I did save a penalty!' Hibs won that game 9-2, I miss the highscoring junior games! Anyways they didn't let me play in the next game against Hibs :lol:

 

2 months ago which I was back between the sticks we were playing the year below in a charity school game. It was 6th year (us) vs 5th year. My mate in the year below (their right back) was absolutely terrifired of dogs and still is. So one guy had his Rottweiler out on a walk I know this dog as my neighbour owns it and it's a big softy, would lick you to death. It ran on the pitch when their right back was in possesion who was also the last man apart from their keeper. The dog sprinted after him, I don't know why it picked him out of 22 lads maybe attracted to the ball. As he seen it coming he screamed and ran, and you know what dogs are like he thought he was playing and chased after him. Our rapid striker took the opportunity an scored the winner for us, we won 2-1! We still haven't stopped barking at him!

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Had quite a few funny pitch moments but one of the most amusing for me was when I was playing for St. Johnstone youths. We were playing away against Ross County. In the first half their striker broke through the defence and I was one on one with him he took a bad touch but I had dived to late grabbed his feet and conceded a penalty. The ref gave me a yellow card for it. In the second half they had a corner but there was a bit of a scuffle in the box due to one of their players insulting one of our players so I got a wee bit hot headed, the referee stepped in and gave me another yellow, but failed to show me a red card! haha.

 

I also remember quite a bit of funny changing room banter and pranks but that was probably my most memorable funny moment on the pitch.

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